Another year!

 

Some birthdays are meant to make you feel another year older and some are meant to make you feel loved…Yesterday’s was one that made me feel loved..Love showered through the wishes from my parent in-laws, my mom, my family, my friends .. and more friends on my Facebook. 

The kids came down early to wish me…with their cards!! I wondered what they would’ve created this time!

N’s creation was so cute. She had made like a cut out..of 3 women…each of them dressed different. One in saree, one in pants and the third in an Indian chudi!  The 3 forms of her mom she sees around everyday! That was so thoughtful..

Poo was so impressed with her own card.  She loves drama!! As usual she had lots of mushy things to tell me…in her own dramatic way! She said..

“WOW mama! doesn’t my card look like a book!”

And K, the cutie that she is…created a cute card for me..explaining what mama meant to her and how that dress fits me perfectly!  What more can a mom ask!

Until a few years ago..this was all I would have asked for!! When my family from India called me on my b’day, I had felt elated…I felt blessed. I felt wished.  I felt good, they remembered me this day, even though I didn’t even bother to remember their’ s. 

Today, that was surely necessary, but, was it sufficient?!!

Today, in this age of social networking where I’m connected with people right from the days when I took my first step.   Ok! must be an exaggerated version of being connected..but, you get the point!

Following all these connections I’d made from being in school till now, where,  I’m now, mostly in touch with the mom’s whose children go to the same school and pre-school as my kids…

How is it possible to not be wished by all these friends of mine? 

Your diaper buddies you shared the crèche with, your school friends, college friends…encompassing all those schools/universities that you’ve been to, and  a lot more people that you’ve met travelling through your life..

All of them are there to wish you well today!  Isn’t that the best cake one can have?!  I was lucky enough to be wished by many of you’ll. 

Last month, it was Hubby’s b’day and he got a mere 17+ wishes on his Facebook page… I had told him..

“What  Hubby, only 17 people thought it worth to wish you?!”

Hubby dear, the optimist he is, saw a lot of positive in it.. He replied

“Considering I hardly post anything, that, I’d not wished anybody yet…, Isn’t that great?!”

So, it all boiled down to a popularity contest here between the Palle spouses…Who is more popular?! Of course…I won the race, hands down!

Thanks for that my Facebook friends.  Every wish was cherished like there wasn’t another…for me.  Like I had said before…each of them..helped me add points into my Karma bank.

Remember posting birthday wishes on your friend’s Facebook wall?.. I ‘ve posted on my friend’s walls too.  Did you have to struggle for the right words? Thought hard, what words would that be, that would put a one in a million smile on your friends face? Trust me, I did too!! I’m sure my friends did too!

I remember struggling to find the right words sometimes,  maybe because there were so many messages on my friend’s wall…and I wanted mine to stand out!! Or, maybe I’ve not known the person for a long time and you know, people change…completely in that much time!

I know, I have!!

The friends who knew me as a kid, or even in my teens, would claim hands down, that I was a girl of few words, always lost in my thoughts and a smile sometimes. And then, Hubby dear happened.   Just as I was realizing that if I don’t start talking now,  I’ll have to spend all my life just listening..the kids happened,  the mommy thing rubbed off on me..and the words started to pour out, first, as a trickle and then, profusely!!  

So, had surely managed to get the appropriate words for a difficult situation too.

Other times, wishing some others, had been so spontaneous for me.  Some recent incident with them, or a recent remark that wasn’t replied to, provides fodder to  write a nice message. In the simplest of words, honesty does show out. I’ve seen the most loving, moving, honest but, simple messages from my friends on Facebook.

And then, there were times, I could just post a “Happy Birthday xyz!” and I felt like I did good! 

Do you remember the ring of your name, as your friend would call out to you.  The accent! Everyone has a way of talking, of calling you, right?!

Sometimes…I can feel like the person is right beside me and almost hear the voice in my ear.  How my name sounds when they would say, “Happy Birthday Gayatri!”.  I could hear that distinctly! 

And, they would have written nothing more than just that,  “Happy Birthday Gayatri!” ..but, it does magic..the voice itself reaches your ears.

I also received a few, that said…

“Happy Birthday”.

I can understand that!  You don’t feel as close to the person, yet, you do want to convey to them, that, the b’day was acknowledged and want to blow some wishes their way.

Most times, I remember, I’ve ordered around, in guise of wishing…I’d written stuff like..

“Have a blast Rupa!”,  “Have a great one Jaya!”

“Have  a good day Sugu!!”

Meaning to let them know..I’m not going to be jealous of you today..if you had the finest moments that I’d been yearning to have in a long long time! Go ahead…Enjoy them without any guilt!

I received a couple of wishes like that too!

Then I felt, I had a new responsibility now!! I couldn’t let my friends down, they had asked me to have fun! What would I write them back…That my day sucked!!

I had to really make it right. I had to make it great!!  As I thought of how, I could do that,  I found that I had made my way to the gym.  The yoga instructor led us through these routines, that, when I came out of the class..along with a few aches and pains.. it was time to go for the swim…

Ahhhahh!! That was the moment, those thoughts invaded me..those thoughts, you know.. That make you take a hike from the gym…

“Its your birthday Mama!!” I could hear the kids say.

“Its your birthday Gayatri!”, I could hear Hubby dear say.

“Have a great day Gayatri!”  the message said..

I mean..Its my birthday!!…

“Maybe, I can skip the swim today…Its so cold anyways…”, I thought.

Like the water in the pool was exposed to that rainy weather…But, who cares for all those facts..I was trying to make my way out..of the gym, right?!

While these thought were taking control of me, I found myself wrapped in the suit..I remembered the scale from that morning…

“I had added 3 more pounds !!! “

Still ready to run out the next moment..I walked towards the pool and lo!! there was a lane that was free!  All for myself..I didn’t need to share the lane with anybody today!  A birthday gift! Especially, if it was the corner one!

Ok! Maybe I’ll just finish this with 35 laps today, I thought..and took that dive into that cold water..

I came out after an hour completing my whole routine like I always did…I was able to pick Richa up from her school in time and had just reached home, the kids came home…ready with instructions for the back to school night

The school had done its share of letting me

“Have a great day!”

Right! That’s what the order/wish was all about!  Wasn’t it?!  It didn’t mention the evening…

People! Friends! next time when you wish for somebody, make sure you take the evening/night into consideration too…The gods do listen!!  They do eavesdrop on all of these wishes…even if they are electronic!! Which ever network protocol! How ever secure!

Right. I didn’t get to go out on any dinner or even sit down with Hubby dear to share some moments together, with a cup of tea that evening.   

No Complaints!!

Hubby dear reached home just in time so I could hop into the vehicle to run off to the back to school night. Oh Boy! was that fun or exercise?! Juggling through 3 classes…The school seems to have worked really hard, making sure all the three kids are placed in classes in the three corners of the school.

I came back to a quite home, everybody fed, done with their showers

Wow! Wasn’t that great!!!

Thanks so much for all your kind wishes.

With Love

Gayatri!

My cup of Trouble or Delight!!

When the triplets had turned 9 this summer..Richa had asked me when was it going to be her birthday. Actually, she had put it better,

“How long for MY birthday, Mama?”

Hers was the only name not on the cake..during this summer birthday.  Seemed so unfair. I had answered,

“6 months, Richa!”

She had exclaimed a disappointed “Ahwwww!” like she had any clue what 6 months meant.  Even today when somebody asks her how old she is, she answers in the elaborate..

“I am 4 olds now and I will be 5 olds in Ja-nu-ary. In 6 months!”

I’ve heard this phrase called  “The terrible 2s” but, seems like in case of Richa, the 2 is just extending seamlessly across all her years.

Of late she’s been troubling her Didis to her hearts content. She steals their pencils or erasers or just about anything they are working with and runs away, inviting them to a game of tag. 

How else can she get the attention of these popular angels of our home. She hasn’t been accepted into the sorority of her sisters, yet! Frustrating enough.  They seem to talk cool stuff, get to go in this big yellow school bus along with the rest of her friends, seem to know much more than she knows or comprehends!

She just wants to be there … at their level because the possibility of them toning down a little bit and talk stuff that sounds less gibberish to her..seems like a remote option.

She’s not the type who wants to give up, is she?! She’s up for the challenge. She makes up by showing them how agile she can be…

Just sneak up to them and flick their stuff and run around. They’ll be running behind her, the next second. She knows!  Now , she has the whole troop behind her…chanting her name!  Maybe bellowing sounds closer to the truth.

All of them running behind her..yelling

“Richa!! Richa!!! Richa!!!…give it back..!”

Sounding like music to her ears, her adrenaline getting a kick. The triplets, frustrated with this guerilla attack on them..have formed a union against her for such situations. They have realized the im-pon-tence (Richa’s version of ‘importance’)  of this phrase

“United we stand..divided Richa rules!!”

One of them is available to shout out,

“Mama..Richa took our stuff!”

Another is running behind her to get it back..without hurting her, for if Richa even feels any molecule in her body move because Didi managed to get a tight hold of her..she would be ready with her version of a war cry which even includes some foot stomping, following which, her Didi would be in for a dose of Mama’s medicine. 

So, that calls for some fine handling.

The third one is hiding all the other stuff from the table so Richa would not get her hands on them. After a full summer of dealing with this, day in and out, I’d only started to breath a little easy when I realize that the start of schools didn’t mean a stop to all this.

Now that the triplets had discovered Richa the Menace, they had started to keep their doors closed to her. They would lock the door of their room from inside and almost immediately, we have holler,

“Mama, Didis are never gone let me come into their room!!!”

Then, another one follows..this time from Mama,

“PNK!!!! What’s all this?!  I said, no playing with the doors!!”

Immediately..the doors open and Didis are shouting

‘Mama, she is stealing our things!”

Now, it was time for Mama to find a place to hide…

As much as she has been troubling the living day lights of us…every thing she speaks is a delight to hear. The other day, as I was working, Richa comes to me and asks..

“Mama, Did Didis tell on me?”

“About what?!”, I ask

“That I had taken their legos and run away!  Did they tell on me?”, she asks without even realizing that she is the one who is doing the TELLING on her!

“No, they didn’t say anything.., Why are you touching their stuff, Richa?!”, I ask, now that I’m aware of what she has been up to.

“Mama, Didis are never going to let me touch their city..their lego city”, she continues…

As much as she is enjoying being the shoe stealing puppy..she is very aware of all the talk around her .. She makes it a point to stop us point blank and clarify…her big doubts!

Hubby dear, who was on a call is heard saying..

“Ok Guys..I’m going to drop off now!”

“Drop off! What are you going to drop Papa?!”, she asks immediately. Or, another time…

“Mama, what is opposite..why did you say opposite?”

Which wasn’t as difficult to explain as when she asked..

“Mama, Why do you say internet?! What is internet?!”

She had just eavesdropped on a conversation that Papa and me were having.

“Richa, its another planet. It has lots of stuff called information in it and I can get that information on to my computer through these wires..”,

I say, suddenly caught unawares, unable to use words like networks, communication and sharing, emails etc.  I suddenly realized as I blurted out what had come to mind…I really wouldn’t have been able to define it if the triplets had asked me either.

They know better now..they find it easier to “Google” than to find out what a dumb a-- Mama is!!

Sometimes its confusing to understand the kids of this generation. How much information is too much for them, you wonder?

Thinking again, I don’t think anything is too much for these kids now-a-days.  I tell you, you start explaining to them the concepts of networking and trust me they will get it, much better than you did the first time!  I have that confidence. Then, I wonder, why I hold back…

Sometimes she reminds me…as if telling me

”Make no mistake of my innocence, mama!”

Like the time I told her…that bugs will start to make their homes in her hair, if she keeps refusing to wash her hair…and she replies, saying,

“You’re funny Mama!”

The other day, after we came back from school, I tried to find out from her if she had in fact eaten her lunch or thrown it in the garbage.

I was sure she would’ve have finished the yogurt because, that’s something she can live on and not want anything else. But, I still went on..

“Richa, are you sure you finished your yogurt?!”

“Yes..Mama, I did!”

“I will talk to Ms. J and find out if you really did”, I said, intently watching her for her reaction..Waiting for her to say…”Fine! I threw a little bit, Ok!”. Instead, she answered.

“Ok!..”

“Did you finish your jelly sandwich?!”

“Yes, Mama”

“How much did you throw in the garbage?”

As she searched for the right words…I was already glowing inside..thinking..

“Ahh there! I caught you baby!!!”

“Nothing!…I placed the two slices of bread on each other and then..I ate it all up, like this!”,  she answered, acting out the whole episode!

“Ok, let me check you tummy and see if I can feel the 2 slices of bread”, I say.

I just pressed a little bit here and a little bit there on her tummy…and acted like I am touching something and said..

“Here! I can surely feel one slice of bread here!”,

“But, where’s the other slice?!”, I asked..

“Really!!!, You can feel the bread in my tummy?!”, she asks, her eyes popping out,  totally believing me..Astonished, that one can do that.

She then..stops walking and spends some time feeling her tummy for a while and says..

“Ma…that’s 2 slices of bread! I can touch 2 slices of bread!”, she said with a sly smile that she couldn’t help hiding,  totally catching me of guard and letting me know.. “It was me who was taking you for a ride all this while, missy!!”

Recently, she had her hit with a harsh reality called HOMEWORK!   That she is liable to learn stuff forcefully too!!!

She has been getting a few minutes of Music and Dance lessons from the triplets Guru and suddenly she finds herself in midst of something that she had not signed up for!!  HOMEWORK!

She was supposed to memorize the Dadra Taal. A taal constituting of 6 beats (A measure of 3 beats!) with the finger movements. The simplest of all taals.  Somehow, this didn’t come across to her as a fun activity. You see, It came to her in the form of HOMEWORK!

Wasn’t HOMEWORK..something only Didis were supposed to do?!  She never had to do this before..She was just meant to do fun stuff, where she got to decide what she was in the mood for.

There was another insider information she knew about HOMEWORKS! Mama or Papa would eventually need to check it, sometimes with..some soft words, and other times, with some more softer words…not soft enough to mean they were fun..She knew that. 

She’s now liable for all this?!! 

When did life take this weird turn?!  The consequence of approaching her 5th birthday in another 4 months now, I remind her.

Why don’t birthdays feel enticing anymore?! I could hear her insides scream.  Same shoes that I find myself too Richa, I commiserate with her mentally.

She has suddenly understood the importance of remaining a small kid…

“Mama, I’m a baby still, you know!”, she reminds me. Already fearing a backlash, she adds,

“Fine!!! I’m not a baby, right, I’m bigger but, still a tiny kid!”, she says, trying to defend her stand, for not being subjected to any homework!

Sitting with me…as I’m trying to teach her this sequence of 6 funny words, to be repeated in a pattern, and she stares at me and says..

“I don’t know how to say that Mama”

She has learnt it early enough..agreeing to do some homework today, will be like asking for more, tomorrow!

Here I am…with my hands on my head, trying to hold on to whatever sanity is left while some more seeps away, well aware, that this girl will soon be doing all these things expected of her…Only, the road to getting there, doesn’t seem like an easy one. And, I wonder..why everybody asks me..

“Triplets!!! How did you take care of them?” 

Weren’t they the easiest, I wonder.

Richa is 4 already!

Yesterday, my little one turned 4. Time flies is one lesson I am taught everyday..again and again and I still never learn! At RIcha’s school today, when one of her teacher said..”I remember seeing you pregnant when the triplets were here”.  I once again realized..”Wow! time really flies.”

This tiny tot ( to my eyes she’s always going to remain that, considering that she’ll surely grow up to be taller than I am! ) was so dejected when she got up this morning.  We all shouted out..”Happy Birthday to you Richa” and she didn’t get any excited. In fact, she wanted us to stop wishing her. She asked me to stop, when I had started to sing..”Baar Baar din yeh aaye..” 

When Pavan called her from work..She just replied with an indifferent “Thainks” and walked away from the phone. These words seemed to irk her.  It had got all her elder siblings puzzled.

“Why was she being so grumpy?!” they thought.

Why wasn’t she feeling all the excitement that we were able to feel for her?! They had talked about her turning 4 olds, just last night, and she was so excited about it..She had been jumping around…singing a song about Richa turning “4 olds”.

There was no excitement on her face now,..all we could see was a very sad face:-(  I soon understood that she had expected for a cake to be waiting for her when she got up in the morning. And there was none!  This must have felt so horrible..Her family is wishing her “Happy Birthday”  without the basics that a birthday entails…A CAKE!

As soon as I promised her that we will be getting one and cutting it as soon as Papa is home, I saw the first smile pop out of her face. Soon her Didi’s left for their school. Then, she asked me if we could go and buy the cake then itself.

“We need to take a cake to my class, Mama!” she said..acting out how she was going to carry the cake into her class and have everybody look at her in excitement and shout out “Happy Birthday Richa!!!”

I had actually talked to the teacher about having a class party 2 days later due to some work I had been busy with. But, there was no escaping now. She got ready for school quik-ca-ly. Without any delays, we set off to the super market to pick up a cake for Richa.  I had asked her..what cake she had wanted..princess, balloons..chocolate…vanilla!!!

She had answered ,  “Nevela Flower Cake”, for Vanilla Flower Cake.

As soon as I had parked the vehicle at the super market..she shouted out

“Mama, lets get a Dora cake!  “

“Mama, I want a Flower Cake!”

After picking up all the party basics..we went to the bakery.

She considering a few cakes..and settled for the Flower cake..even if it meant it was not “Nevella”.

She proudly announced to everybody she came across that it was her Birthday. With lots of excitement, she carried  the cake to be scanned.

 

As we approached her school, she exclaimed

“Mama, we made it to school!!”, just like Dora would say.

Proudly, she walked into her class holding her cake in her hand. This was a very special cake. It was baked specially for her and that’s why it tasted too good, she knew that!

The cake was decorated…and lit!!

 

The Birthday song was sung with such excitement like it was each of the kids own birthday! After she helped her teacher cut and split it, she distributed it!

 

Then, She sat to eat her own……

And ate it like never before!  I’ve always known her to love having a cake but never finish it!  Until yesterday, she has always, broken a cake..and made a mess of it, rather than eat it..But, this cake was a special one. It was meant to be eaten!  It was the tastiest one ever baked..and she did justice eating it like that!

   

She just loved it!  When we came back home..she wanted more!

 

and some more when her Didi’s came home from school. In the night, she had another tiny cake to cut when her Papa came back from work, and we all sang her the Happy B’day song again! But, she was way too satiated to taste this one :-(

She finished off her day with her favorite “Polka Dot” Pizza! 

Wishing her many many many more such Happy Happy Birthday’s to come.

“I love you so much my Puchka!” that’s what I call her sometimes.. referring to her soft bottoms :-)

Many times, when we cuddle up..I tell her..

“Richa..you are so sweet! So yummy! Can I eat you?”

She always replies so complacently.

“Mama, I am Richa..I am not foods!”

Then, she will offer her cheeks to me..so that I could take a little pretend bite of it :-)  Then she feel so proud that she was able to provide some sweetness in moma’s life.

As time flies so fast, my heart goes:

Why don’t you slow down a bit so mom can enjoy your innocence some more.

Why don’t you slow down some more..my child..so mom, can experience your undivided love for some more.

Why don’t you slow down a little more..my baby..so mom, can listen to your creative words..some more.

Why don’t you slow down a tiny bit more..my precious..so we can have some more of the afternoon tea parties in your room!

A couple of days back, when I had to go out for some work…she cried saying..

“I want Mama”

Pavan told her…

”Richa, I am here with you (a la Mein hoon naa!)..can you play with me? I love you too!”

He had tried to coax her..and she had replied so softly to him..lest she hurt him

“But Papa!! I need Mama…I don’t need you!”  :-)

That’s my darling Richa.

“Aaj Apun Ka Happy B’day Hai!”

Meaning “Today is my Happy Birthday”. This was what Aamir Khan had said in the movie “Rangeela”, wearing that bright, really really bright yellow shirt. That’s what I am doing today. Saying the same boldly to the world sans that yellow shirt.

After I had crossed 30, birthday’s became more like a reminder that I’m one more year closer to menopause. I more year of youth gone by. I conveniently let myself forget how old I am. It felt better that way. I know most people would prefer being 20 something or even sweet 16 forever..but, where I stand now, I’m happy with staying 30.

But today, just like this day last year, I feel different. I am happy that its my birthday again. I feel happy that my friends and family did not let me forget it.  Thanks to my friends on face book for their wishes for me. It really means a lot to me. Very valuable and I feel very fortunate to have so many of you wish me good wishes. You just increased my reserve of karma points. Priceless!!! (yeah, again). It really feels horrible, not to be wished on one’s birthday. To let you know what I mean:

Having gone to school in India, uniform was a requirement. But, one was allowed to wear a civil dress on their birthday’s.  In the class of 60+ students, the teacher never knew nor cared to know the kid’s birthday’s. The civil dress was clue enough for the teacher to understand, its the kids birthday today. 

I had worn that civil dress in one of those elementary school years. I’m sure it was the second grade.  I had worn a very nice Lehenga (long skirt) that my mom had sewn for me. She had also given me a packet of toffee’s to distribute to the class. I had gone to the school nervous and excited, that I would have the attention of the teacher today. Today, she would know that there is a girl called “Gayatri” in the class. She would call me and ask me, “Is it your birthday today?”    I would say..”Yes” and she would ask the class to stand and sing for me, the Happy Birthday song. Then, the day started at school. She didn’t call me. It was already recess time.

“Did she even notice that I’m wearing a civil dress?”, I had thought.

She had clearly noticed that. Who could miss that parrot green fabric, so strikingly visible. Then, it was time for lunch. I had thought that she would ask the class to sing for me at the end of the school day. But, the day passed and she hadn’t asked me, if it was my birthday, nor did anybody wish me “Happy Birthday” at school. That little girl, that I was, wasn’t bold enough to go and tell the teacher, “Today is my birthday” and give her a toffee or two. In the evening, the aaya (child sitter) came to take me home. It had hurt me so much. I had given that whole packet of toffee’s to the aaya and told her not to tell my parents that I had not distributed them at school.  That was the end of that day. Or maybe not, because, I still remember it so vividly till now.

Through school, college and up until the kids were born..I was the type, who couldn’t understand people who would forget friend’s birthdays. “So careless?!!” I used to feel. Without the internet’s interference, I had taken all that time, effort and money in choosing the right card for the right person. If it took 2-3 different cards that were apt to express my wishes, (especially to Pavan), I would do that. He understood how important this thing was for me, and reciprocated with the same fervor.

Then, one fine day, I had my triplets and immediately after that, everything went haywire. My father would call me up, on his birthday and if after some talk, he guessed,  that,  I didn’t remember, he would tell me, “Goodie, aaj mera birthday hai” (Today is my birthday, dear). I had felt so embarrassed and I would not forgive myself for days. Its been years that I remembered my friends and families birthdays on time. The people who know me, have almost given up on me, in that respect.

This thing about, remembering dates had become such a juggle, that when I got a call from a friend or family, my mind would race through the calendar trying to make a mental scan of all the relevant dates, if there were any dates relating to this person I had forgotten to remember recently.

I hadn’t remembered my own birthday, many times too. Pavan would just give that sweet hug and tell me, “Don’t worry, your a  mom now, too many things on your mind”. Obviously, my brain’s cache was not enough to maintain so much data on one page. All that data relating to birth dates had taken a page somewhere in the back. The ones with priority were the ones dealing with my kids, their activities, their appointments.  I needed a bigger memory box in my head, and a bigger processor, to be able to go through all the pages quickly. 

Now that my kids have grown, they are taking over these responsibilities from me. They remember theirs’, Richa’s , Pavan’s, Mine, their grandparents, and cousins and their friends birthday’s too. So at least, I’m covered on the family front. Today, the kids gave me their hand made cards that they have been creating ..for the past few days. This supposedly “secretive” project that made two of my scissors disappear. Their reply at being caught stealing my scissors..

“We are making something…a surprise, can you go to your room”

Neha wasn’t able to sleep through the night. I’m sure, the excitement to give her card kept her awake. She got up “before dawn” (in her words)..brushed, dressed for school and then fell asleep.  A picture of the trio’s cards for me is posted below. One of it, turned out to be the hit, the pop up card..(looks like all the 3 spent their creative energy on this one), but each of them had a card for me and so different. One was a fold up card, with very sweet words for me, one was a “peek behind” card..with hearts and smiley's…It was Kauvya’s. She loves books which have the “can you spot?” pictures. Her card was just like that. The wishes were hidden between the different pictures and pop ups.  She also had a P.S. for me…where she hinted me to watch out for Neha’s card.

Poojha was so sweet with words. Almost had to stop myself from melting like a wax candle!

 

 

P.S. I just love the way they draw me always in a salwar…So creative, showing the flare of the dress..And, don’t forget to notice, that in the drawing above, Neha has drawn herself..watching Poojha, Kavya, Richa, Papa and Mom celebrating with the big yellow cake.