Tuesday, June 22, 2010

From 'No Samanna No' to Today

Yeah, seems a weird title. 'No Samanna No' was an article I read from a blog about 10 years ago. It was about a little 1-2 year old toddler and the mom’s interpretation of the baby’s mind as the baby was reaching out for things in the house. At the time we were planning on parenthood and any article that was on a baby was interesting reading material for me. All the pranks of the baby seemed cute. Every time the mother was saying “No , Samanna No!!” I Loved it.

I did not know the concept of a child safe house. Although we did have 2 pets and our house was pet safe. But the reach of a crawling or toddling baby is far more than a pet’s. The child safety required was of another level, or another planet. That disjoint from parenthood was our knowledge, needs etc.

Then, we got pregnant with 3 babies all at once. The most common comment I got at the baby shower at work was “Instant family uh!”. Then we had the babies. They came one by one from the hospital after what felt like a loooooooong time. Just one tiny thing in a car seat, that just needed to be fed every hour or whatever, brought about so much commotion in the house with 4 adults. That was the day when our house started to have a different look. Everything changed. There used to be a living room that was neat and now it was scattered with a bouncer, some bottles, diapers handy to reach. Then the next baby came and the next..A room full of cribs and bouncers and kitchen full of bottles to wash and sanitize. Baby toys appeared. It was so scary to walk in the night...lest something squeaked under our foot. People were so generous in giving us stuff, way more than our house could accommodate. Then the kids started to crawl. Until then, I was waiting for them to crawl and move. Once they started, I realized how child unsafe the house was. They crawled to our room from theirs and they would pull out all the stuff from the shelves that didn't have doors and closets, throw phones in the potty trying to flush it, pull out all the wipes from the warmer. Soon that house seemed full and we needed a bigger place. We found another place in a matter of a month and were able to move into it in another 3 months.

At the time PNK were not even 2 years old, and they got a lot of area to run around and a yard to play in. Got new friends. Didn't buy any tables for the family room as i didn't want the toddlers bumping into any of them. Basically, no extra furniture than needed. During this time, I had come across this article written by a stay at home dad who was managing 4 kids at home. One point that he mentioned made lot of sense to me. That, it is not going to work if we keep shouting “No” to the kid. The kid is not wired to understand a ‘No’ to be a ‘No’. So, if we want that the kid not touch something, it would be better if we picked that up and kept it out of the kid’s reach instead of shouting ‘No’ to the kid and get frustrated that the kid doesn't listen. It did need an extra effort from us to do that. But, always remembered to do that from that day on. It did make life much easier for the kids and me until now.
Today, Richa is the toddler but, I have 3 other half moms to her at home whose names are Pooja, Neha and Kauvya. They don’t know this concept and they generously help her get her hands on things that she is not allowed to reach. Now, 10 years later, I am back to the spot where I’m saying ‘No Richa No’. She is carrying Hobbes as he is shedding so much hair and she says to me “look mom, Hobbes is hugging me”. So cute. But,I can’t keep him out of her reach and I can't make her Didi's understand how to Parent.


Venky (வெங்கி) said...

Parenting is a tough art which requires ultimate patience and at the same time toughness to hold on to the rules. I'm sure there is plenty of fun thats part of the package.
- Good One Gayatri

gayatri said...

Yeah...its a lot of fun to mention about it later but, when you are in the moment. it feels better said than done. Not complaining. As you said...It's part of the package.